Remember a few weeks ago I was writing about living with the tension of always having more to do than could possibly get done? I was ok living with that tension...at the time.
Now I'm struggling with it.
It was a simple thing, really, a missing pair of tights for my daughter's jazz dance rehearsal; but it set me off in quite a state. I knew I had put them somewhere. But where? It was do or die time with a half hour left until we had to leave. They were a special pair, just for that costume. And I couldn't find them. We tore my daughter's room apart looking. She and I were both in tears. I said a bad word. My husband yelled at me for saying a bad word. The guilt was staggering.
Long story short, I finally remembered where I put them. The dress rehearsal went on as planned.
But that's not the part of the story that is sticking with me. It's the part where I am seeing once again that I am stretched too thin. I am always running as fast as I can from one thing to the next. As a consequence, I lose things all the time. I am distracted. I am unorganized. I don't have time to make good healthy meals for my family on a consistent basis. I don't have the time to do the little things I want to for my kids...like going on field trips, having fun traditions for holidays like April Fool's Day or st. Patrick's Day, hanging out with them after school in a relaxed way, etc. Plus my husband really wants to change how we budget our money and tracking/recording all that will take time too.
I am still working out what this means, but I know I really have to cut some more things out. Why is this always such a battle for me to figure out? I just feel God's call to let the craft business stuff go; but it is so hard when I enjoy it too. I don't know what to do.
