Thanks for all your support of my sleepy ramblings yesterday! We did have a better night last night...progress anyway. I talked to the neighbor about her dog too. And the church festival thing is over. I think my daughter's sleep issues will take time though. The only thing I know to do is to try to take the pressure out of the situation and just let her know that she is safe and loved no matter what. It's like the "issue" itself has grown into such a monster that it produces anxiety in and of itself which leads to sleep issues which makes it worse and so on...
As far as my anxiety about my trip home. I can't tell you how hard it is to feel like a constant disappointment. Why is it that even in my thirties I am still like a little girl wanting her parents to say "good job"? I have so much shame wrapped up in my inability to lose weight. I did have a small epiphany however. I was listening to Anita Renfroe (love her!) talk on her "Momsense" DVD and she was talking about the old candy Cracker Jacks and how we loved to see those magic words, "Prize Inside." She reminded me that when we get the candy we don't dump out the contents and cherish the box, but it is the inside that matters. For me too, right? My outward appearance is not the prize. It does not make me valuable or not valuable. I think of the Lord's guidance of Samuel to choose David to be king: 1 Samuel 16:7
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
I feel like I totally forgot about this verse! I don't know how I could have forgotten it. I think it will be my theme verse for the visit.
