I'm a big whiney baby sometimes. Especially when it comes to my health. And right now my health is a big mess. If you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that my health is not great. I've fought a long battle with stomach issues, hormone messes, anxiety, muscle spasms, vertigo, and now high blood pressure. I have a constant battle with stress and it wreaks havoc on my health constantly no matter how hard I try to alleviate it. A month ago I blogged about taking my health seriously and addressing some stuff. I made big promises and help hope that maybe I could finally feel better. And believe me, I've been working pretty hard to make positive changes.
Unfortunately my body just doesn't like change. And for some reason, I always react badly to any kind of diet/medication changes. So, it's been a rough month. I thought working this hard on eating healthy would result in positive changes. That hasn't been the case. Instead I actually feel a lot worse. I have no idea why. So I'm whiney and frustrated and doing my best to find a way to rely on God to carry me through this.
But my go-to response to physical problems is not usually faith and hope. It's usually panic and despair. Which actually ends up only adding to the physical problems in one big endless loop, you know?
So, I'm back to square one again. Not making any big promises this time though. This time I'm only trying to do one thing: trust. I have tried every other possible physical solution (over this ten-year journey through health issues) through doctors, specialists, nutritionists, counselors, and naturopaths. And now I am stripped clean of everything and left with just my God. No one else knows how to heal me. I'm not saying I won't keep looking for answers, but I just want to finally stop blaming God for my problems and instead embrace that He will come alongside me in the midst of it and go through it with me.
Will you please pray with me that I can come to peace with my health? That I can feel God's presence in the bad days. That I can continue to find the courage to do what I can to improve my health even when I don't know what changes to make. That God will speak in a clear and undeniable way to my heart so I know how to proceed.
Thank you. You are a blessing in my life.
How about you? How can I pray for you? How do you cope with health issues in your life?
Heading back to the doctor on Monday. I have to believe that there are things I can do to feel better. This time, I won't try to do it on my own power.